Resilience

August 31, 2009: I spent a considerable part of the weekend of Ted Kennedy's funeral reading Joan Borysenko's latest book, "It's not the end of the World: Developing Resilience in Times of Change" and listening to and watching Senator Kennedy's Memorial and Funeral Services. What struck me most clearly was that this is a man who potently represents the power of resilience. Here is a man whose failings were so public that it's almost embarrassing to watch him struggle, more than once, to tell us of his failings. But tell us he did, and took complete responsibility! But here's the key: in spite of his failings, perhaps even BECAUSE of them, and in spite of or because of his steady stream of life tragedies, this man was able to continue to passionately live his life's purpose. In so doing, he became legendary. And the stories of his legend warm the heart and fill the mind with the poignant power of his message of love. The man simply learned how to love. And he just did it and did it and did it, until the day of his death.

He offers us all a major lesson in how to LIVE. You look life square in the face, you take responsibility for ALL of your own choices and you go deeper and deeper into your soul's purpose and longing. Then you give yourself over to it and give and give and give. That is all. But for those of you looking for a more in-depth explanation of resilience--there's always Joan's book.

Perhaps it is true that what Teddy saw as his "sins" forced him to go deeper into himself. Perhaps it was the tragedies, the assassination of not one but two brothers to whom he was very close, his son's bone cancer, the death of his dear nephew and wife in an airplane crash--and that's just to name a few. They say that much is lost by those of whom much is demanded. And Ted Kennedy fits the bill--on both sides of that equation. Nothing stopped him from becoming the loving and wise man he became, from standing in the breach between the left and the right and looking beyond both of them to the rights and needs of those he served. Was he a liberal? Yes, and if that offends you, just slip past that for a moment and look at the fact that he was able to put his mark on 1000 passed bills 300 of which he wrote himself. Look past that and listen to the stories told by his children, nieces and nephews of the enormous heart of this baby-of-the-family who became, in his brothers' places, the patriarch of the family. Listen to the song written for him by his conservative, Mormon Republican friend, Orrin Hatch, as well as his poignant stories about the depth and humor of their relationship. Look past yourself and your own opinions for just a moment to see this clear example of resilience.

Regardless of your political persuasion, a good read of the history of Ted Kennedy can offer you a recent historical example of resilience. As Dr. Borysenko says in her book, though some are born resilient, we can also develop it. The hardest part of any tragedy is not the events themselves, but how we respond to them. The hardest part of looking at our own faults and foibles is in considering and changing what we ourselves think of them. No tragedy, no fault can keep us from a happy, fulfilling life if we will learn the art of resilience.
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